I am not writing this to ask for an apology.
I am writing this because this is what I think.
I am writing this because this is how I felt.
Do I really say how I feel? The question crossed my mind as I decide to write this piece. For a few days, I was conflicted whether to write about this or not. A part of me says that I am not good in conveying what I feel verbally. And with that, another side would retaliate, how about the numerous quarrels at home? Maybe, I avoid confrontations. I choose to harbor the hurt inside than to express in words the pain from their words and/or actions.
More often, I preferred the non verbal language. I scowl. I ignore. I throw fits. Some would they are just mood swings, but often, I just find something to be angry about.
What happened that night was not just a mood swing. Apparently someone said something that implied that they could leave me behind. The thought made me feel like I don’t belong. Though it really is the usual situation (being not part of a group), this is different. They are my ‘friends’. That made the feeling worse.
I am both insensitive and overly sensitive. I care too much and at the same time, I could be very apathetic. That time, I feel.