i used to write crappy songs while i was still in elementary.. crappy, because they were most–#$%*– songs. i really wanted to tear those pieces but-hey, these are memories of my past, my past that no matter how harsh that reality was, it was still, and is still a part of who i am…
i opened my ‘treasure’ chest filled with papers and other ‘stuff’ and i can’t help it but to lok back to the very reason that they are there, and how i could connect it to my self. there were chocolate wrappers(my collection), IDs/nametags from contests and from my schools, notebooks of poems, stories, songs, and even LOUD thoughts and even my ‘shredded’ sketch pad. i looked at them, with such fondness that i couldn’t help it but to take a more careful look at them, seeing them age through time.
“… I remember you said you love me yesterday, but I couldn’t remember you doing it today…”
that^ line was from a song i wrote entitled ‘I remember'(it was a love song about a woman whose man show no affection to her, showing love through words, nebver of actions)… truly reminiscing things – the issues, the people, everything …uh, i don’t know the exact definition for this feeling.
funny, how people say that one should not dwell on the past… but it was the past that gives my the feeling of completion, of content… it never leaves me no matter how much i try to erase it from my mind. and it forever haunts, not in a ghastly entity or in a bad memory… it was something more that just the pain and the heartache(it caused), it is me. how the people see me, how it saw myself, how i transformed, how i played in this playground, how i fought in this battlefield, how i acted in this stage play… the mere word ‘MEMORIES’ may encapsulate my being(though it is not yet complete).. i am who i am today because it is how my past molded me(aside from my innate traits).
i recall another song…
“…tell what you feel, or is this for really, tell me what is real?
…i think it’s not for sure, i want to know the truth, the way you’re saying everything you are is about me…” <—shuckz
.. i stil can’t believe i wrote that ^_^