Still Weak

“I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I am not in favor of them until… now.”

I am at the lowest point[so far] of my failing career. I didn’t seemed that depressed a few minutes earlier but as i walk alone along the street, i can’t help but to say to my self… “what the —- is wrong with me”.

As for why I was…. come to think of it.. is depressed is not really that important. The important thing is through this the realization of I view people had bit…. well, not that good. Aside from the fact that i am very paranoid… i have been judgemental. Why do I hate some people for their orientation? What should I feel annoyed by those who… moved away from the common cycle of the world?

Why should I feel bad for them when there is something more than who they chose to like… or even love….

I have been narrow minded in this issue. How could i let myself be blinded by the dictates of the society? I should have looked to the deeper part of them, just like the way I searched through the ‘ordinary’ people. If i hadn’t been that stupid, I should have known earlier that even them could have a bigger heart than those who …. =)

I want to thank you. I know that once you’ve read this you will know that it is you that I am refering to. You are more human than the other [pathetic] humans I know…

Thank you for those kind words… thank you for teaching me not to be well…[looks up….]

….. the @#$*! I couldn’t thank you enough