There are No Words.

I could not explain how it felt.

Was it because I failed?
Was it because I could never
amount to what they are
now?

What word could express how exactly I am feeling?

Sad? The feeling is more than that.
Dejected? Downcast? No.
Inconsolable? I think that is a bit too much.

Resentful? They did not cause me any harm.
Embittered? But I hardly harbor scorn towards them.
Disgruntled? Well, that’s an understatement.

Envious? Invidious? A bit, but not exactly.

I scanned for words in the dictionary. Trying miserably to comprehend what is going on in my mind.

I hate myself. I pity myself.
I am still trying to appease myself.
There is no way to turn back the years.
And what they left me are this incomprehensible emotion.

Do I really need a label to this?
These puts a limit to the morphemes.

There are no words to exactly describe how I feel.