I could not explain how it felt.
Was it because I failed?
Was it because I could never
amount to what they are
What word could express how exactly I am feeling?
Sad? The feeling is more than that.
Dejected? Downcast? No.
Inconsolable? I think that is a bit too much.
Resentful? They did not cause me any harm.
Embittered? But I hardly harbor scorn towards them.
Disgruntled? Well, that’s an understatement.
Envious? Invidious? A bit, but not exactly.
I scanned for words in the dictionary. Trying miserably to comprehend what is going on in my mind.
I hate myself. I pity myself.
I am still trying to appease myself.
There is no way to turn back the years.
And what they left me are this incomprehensible emotion.
Do I really need a label to this?
These puts a limit to the morphemes.
There are no words to exactly describe how I feel.