After a week of juggling tasks, my body decided to come into a halt.
Crash… and burn.
What I have is something close to flu but not quite there. I feel dizzy. I cough a lot. I experience chest pains most probably due to the force exerted whenever I cough. I skipped two days of classes because of the nausea and migraines. However, I tried to attend to some commitments.
The body took a toll the previous week. Four days I was juggling tasks for our academic organization – enough tasks to keep me from sleeping before two and after the clock five. These tasks were planned for a group of 15 organization officers. But in unforeseen circumstances, the numbers dwindled. By the time of the activity, only a handful took part in executing what was talked about months ago.
Aside from the physical torture, the mental and emotional aspect of the whole ordeal definitely took a toll on those left to keep the activities in place. Worrying about the finances, about certain hiccups and the passivity of several members are among those we have to overcome.
The combination of the lack of sleep, hard labor and emotional torture lead to a body frail enough to be infested by a bug.
The ailment isn’t bad enough to keep me bed-fast. But the functionality of my human body is lowered. I can’t act as if I am superhuman or anywhere close to it. The sad thing is that, I hate being incapable of accomplishing anything. Being unable to focus on work-related activities or move around to accomplish tasks drives me mad.
During the times of weakness, I often consider letting go of the things that can bring me more minuses than pluses(a small amount of recognition by participating in what we had planned can be considered as a benefit). Should I stay serving the people who could care less of all the thought and effort devoted for them to learn? Should I continue trying to help them learn more than what they expected to?
For now, I still cough a lot – but not as much as the past few days. I am no longer as nauseated and the pain in my head is close to nil. I think I could reflect better on this when I am better. For now, I pray for less drama. I have enough of it for now.